Five years ago, I made my then boyfriend a gorgeous merino wool cable sweater. We were engaged the very next day (no curse there). A few months later, he accidentally felted it. I was devastated and so was he. This Christmas, I FINALLY finished another sweater for him. Very simple cable pattern from Tricoter (sp?) out of Cotton Fleece. It has taken me years. With a baby in the middle of it all. I think it turned out beautifully and my family complimented it. DH, however, does not like it. He thinks it's too close-fitting. I like that since he's lost 25lbs since our son was born. He also thinks that the collar is too open and therefore, too feminine. I think it's nonsense but agreed to try to pull it up some (any ideas on how to do that without tearing it out, which I will not do). I'm really disappointed since I really do think it turned out beautifully.

No more sweaters for DH! Just needed to vent, thanks,
vickie

Vent away! Most of us have had disappointments like that and we understand. Did you read about the bleach that destroyed a sweater? it's somewhere on here...
A hundred years ago I made my husband a sweater and he lost it. He actually did wear it for a while, but I can't figure out how it got lost. It was just a simple cabled sweater in a dark wine color which he said he liked. Anyway,I have never made him another one. Isn't that awful?
I would say that if you want to make him anything else (and he would be lucky ) have him tell you if he likes the pattern first. It would save the heartache and then he would be interested in it as you worked on it? In other words, he would see how much work goes into it..
Otherwise, just make stuff for your child while you can. My son is wearing t-shirts and it's winter! teenagers!! The only long sleeves I see him in is his black belt uniform. Can't change that!!! He wouldn't wear a sweater if I made him one even though I am hopeful that someday he will change his mind (yeah, I know, dream on )
Good luck whatever you decide..
Mice

Ah yes, teenagers. the won't knit because it is vastly uncool (Mom does it) but "mom could you make me a scarf in intarsia with this really wonderful japanese crest on it?" Won't wear a long sleaved shirt and then are very upset because they are cold.
Then they learn to knit from someone else and won't ask for help..... Suddenly your size six sixteen inch circulars and carefully hoarded cashmere are missing from supply, only to show up in teenagers hands. "hey mom, how do you make an irish field cap" Won't swatch, won't count and when he finally finishes , it is an amazing work of art. now he won't write out the pattern.

Vickie,

I completely agree with micebyliz; get your DH's opinion before making anything else for him. I never knit something for my DH without him looking at the pattern first.

If you like the sweater and if it fits, you can always wear the sweater! (His loss!) Just last night I borrowed a sweater that I knit for my DH (while making another one for him). It is way too big on me, but is perfect for a night of bundling up and getting some knitting done.

Thanks all. He did like the pattern on the page. I don't think he was paying that much attention. He approved it all. He loves my socks. So, socks he shall get. I'm sure I'm in for more of the same when my toddler gets old enough to voice his opinion about his clothes!
vickie

"Five years ago, I made my then boyfriend a gorgeous merino wool cable sweater. We were engaged the very next day (no curse there). A few months later, he accidentally felted it. " Are you sure he "accidentially " felted it. It seems to me he doesn't like or appreciate hand made sweaters and doesn't know how to discourage you. just make him socks!!! As Marie Antionette said "let him wear socks"

HA! Marie Antoinette? That's too funny! What a gal! Too bad they weren't saying YOU GO GIRL! back then!!
It could be that some people in our lives do not really understand the desire (or perhaps, need?) we have to make something for them and what it means to US..They are gifts of love and caring and nurturing.
I have made lots of teddy bears and other stuffed animals for children I hardly know and there is nothing so satisfying as the smile I get in return. It's really all I want.
So socks are good Maybe he would like to try?
I tried to teach the hubby how to crochet and the giant hands just had too much trouble plus he wasn't really listening OOHH imagine that!!! and I tried to teach my older brother how to knit and that went a little better..It's funny because men used to do all the knitting!!
Maybe that gene is out of the pool?
just kidding!
Mice

Well, I don't think it's an issue of the sex of the recipient. Frankly, I'm a little tired of all of these male bashing posts about husbands/boyfriends/sons not caring for or liking your sweaters or socks or whatever.

I have made some rather beautiful garments for my two nieces and my sister-in-law won't let them wear them for whatever reason. So I don't knit for them. Period.

Jon

Could I just add to this that Jon has in fact made a superb vest in beautiful navy yarn for his 'nephew' in the UK and it is adored and worn to death.

And I have the piccies to prove it.... !!

Deb the Brit ;-)

micebyliz, my son is only 8 and I can't get him in pants!! Now yes...we do live in the south but it's still cold here and waaaay to cold for shorts! It'll be 45 outside and he's outside in his shorts! I've learned some battles aren't worth it. I do though however, put my foot down to him wearing them to school! He will wear what I pick out for him. I had previously posted a picture of my son and daughter wearing Lopi sweaters that I had made for them. I think that's the only time he ever wore it!

Jon--
I also get angry hearing about family members who dismiss hand-knit gifts. But I think it's more a problem of churlish bad manners than gender-bashing; plenty of anti-sweater flak comes from sisters, daughters and mothers. Problem is, if you get a gift from the Gap and you hate it, you can return it. What do you do with a hand-knit sweater than you don't care for?

Answer: you find a way of making the giver feel that you are grateful and pleased. You don't have to lie and say you love it. But you do not act like a clod and say you hate the thing. That's unkind, and the essence of good manners is kindness to others. So you thank the giver profusely for his/her work, talent and thoughtfulness. You wear it several times in the giver's presence before quietly consigning it to the bottom drawer. You praise the giver's W.T.and T.in the presence of others. You make it about the giver, not the damned sweater.

I may be a Neanderthal, but I believe that more relationships go sour because of brutal and unnecessary "honesty" than harmless white lies.

And oh, yes: nowadays I only knit for myself and for the two people in my life who genuinely enjoy receiving hand-knits and wear them to death. I can find less work-intensive ways to show my love for everyone else.

BaaBaa,

That's all well and good but why do we only see postings here that bash men for their disregard for handknit items? I can recall three to my mind and there were probably others.

If you say it's not a matter of gender bias, then fine. Let's hear y'all bashing the women in your lives.

Jon

Thanks for the support BaaBaa
I did try in my message not to offend anyone and I'm sorry if I did. I don't do "male bashing" or "bashing" of any other kind. Sometimes,I hear people ask if their statements or opinions are racist, homophobic or predjudicial. But to me? if you have to ask you aren't "getting it" in your soul where it counts.
BaaBaa, I assure you--you aren't a Neanderthal. Besides, you DO know what happened to THEM ??
You are right about manners and i agree that not hurting someone's feelings is important. It's possible to be tactful and accept things with grace and still subtly let them know (perhaps) that you really don't like it...
I'm not sure that sentence made any sense
So, again, I'm sorry if I offended anyone.
Mice

That's because only men are so ungrateful. Just kidding, Jon -- it is so fun to see that vein in your forehead throbbing. Seriously, I think, Jon, that it is a logical consequence of the large majority of posters on the forum being women and our partners are mostly men and everyone always wants the best response from their partners and we're so disappointed when it doesn't happen. I think it is just a statistical likelihood and not male-bashing. If this was a forum where the majority of members were men, I am sure we'd see a lot more stories about the women who didn't get "it". (And yes, I would probably be annoyed too from time to time.) I, for one, would be happy to help bash your ungrateful SIL who deserves acrylic sweaters from the dollar store. Now go rest your post-operative throat and get better.

quote:

Originally posted by Jon:
[qb] BaaBaa,

That's all well and good but why do we only see postings here that bash men for their disregard for handknit items? I can recall three to my mind and there were probably others.

If you say it's not a matter of gender bias, then fine. Let's hear y'all bashing the women in your lives.

Jon [/qb]

Jon--
I'm not sure why the disproportionate number of complaints about male ingratitude. Some guesses:

(a) Aside from the welcome participation of you, John, Bill and (occasionally)Tucker, this is very female-heavy board. And, ahem, sisterhood is powerful.

(b)More women knit things for men than men knit for women,thereby creating more opportunity to suffer negative responses. (The obvious exception is John, whose wife loves everything he knits for her for good reason -- the stuff is gorgeous.)

(b) Women in our society are less likely to reject unwanted gifts than men are; we're conditioned from a young age to shut up and smile while gritting our teeth. This gives us ulcers but it makes us a bit more bash-proof.

(c) I have no explanation or excuse for your sister-in-law's behavior. Poor nieces.

Happy New Year, and knit on for whomever appreciates it.